{"id":138,"date":"2025-05-09T20:52:15","date_gmt":"2025-05-09T20:52:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/?p=138"},"modified":"2025-06-10T20:01:59","modified_gmt":"2025-06-10T20:01:59","slug":"welcome-to-fog-fridays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/?p=138","title":{"rendered":"Welcome to Fog Fridays"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"pl-138\"  class=\"panel-layout\" ><div id=\"pg-138-0\"  class=\"panel-grid panel-no-style\" ><div id=\"pgc-138-0-0\"  class=\"panel-grid-cell\" ><div id=\"panel-138-0-0-0\" class=\"so-panel widget widget_sow-editor panel-first-child panel-last-child\" data-index=\"0\" ><div\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tclass=\"so-widget-sow-editor so-widget-sow-editor-base\"\n\t\t\t\n\t\t>\n<div class=\"siteorigin-widget-tinymce textwidget\">\n\t<div class=\"post typography\" dir=\"auto\">\n<div class=\"body markup\" dir=\"auto\">\n<p>Meet Julian Fog: Ex-Space Marine. Smuggler. Collector of Harley-Davidson Relics.<\/p>\n<p>In the outer reaches of the galaxy\u2014where laws are loose, loyalty is looser, and espresso bulbs are a basic human right\u2014flies a man with too much charm, too many enemies, and exactly zero self-preservation instincts.<\/p>\n<p>His name is Julian Fog.<\/p>\n<p>Pilot. Rogue. Chaos gremlin.<\/p>\n<p>He used to be a decorated space marine\u2026 then he discovered smuggling paid better and came with fewer dress codes. That was before he accidentally delivered a shipment of high-grade explosives to a diplomatic peace summit.<\/p>\n<p>Now there\u2019s a galaxy-wide bounty on his teeth and 12 cycles to repay his debt.<\/p>\n<p>To stay alive (and preferably caffeinated), Julian\u2019s taking on the kind of jobs only desperate fools or immortal beings should attempt. Which is perfect, because he\u2019s definitely one of those things.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s not alone:<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"header-anchor-post\">Meet the Crew<\/h3>\n<p>Z1N \u2013 A combat robot who believes he\u2019s a noble Japanese samurai. Speaks in riddles. Carries a plasma katana. Has no volume control and yells \u201cBONZAI!\u201d at all the wrong times.<\/p>\n<p>He may be made of titanium, but emotionally? Pure drama.<\/p>\n<p>M.O.L.L.I.E. \u2013 That\u2019s the Modular Operational Logic &amp; Linguistic Interface Emulator, Julian\u2019s shipboard AI. She controls navigation, weapons, oxygen, espresso inventory, and Julian\u2019s ego (when possible).<\/p>\n<p>Equal parts helpful and snarky, Mollie\u2019s the closest thing he has to a conscience\u2014and she\u2019s losing patience.<\/p>\n<p>Together, they might:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Smuggle radioactive alpacas across embargo zones<\/li>\n<li>Gamble with alien crime lords in zero gravity<\/li>\n<li>Awaken ancient doomsday devices \u201cby accident\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Try to decode Julian\u2019s family tree (which may or may not involve pirates, politicians, and a karaoke championship)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Each episode brings another high-speed, high-stakes, highly ridiculous adventure as Julian tries to dodge death, repay his debt, and maybe\u2014just maybe\u2014grow a shred of responsibility.<\/p>\n<p>(But probably not.)<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"header-anchor-post\">Strap in. Fire up the espresso. And whatever you do\u2026 don\u2019t press the red button.<\/h3>\n<p>Fog Fridays begin now<\/p>\n<h1 class=\"header-anchor-post\">Episode One: Bounty Beginnings, or: The One Where Julian Accidentally Delivers Explosives to a Peace Conference<\/h1>\n<p>Julian Fog was halfway through his third espresso bulb and halfway into a bad idea when the comm started blinking red.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIncoming message,\u201d purred the ship\u2019s AI, M.O.L.L.I.E.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShall I put on soft jazz or trigger the self-destruct?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian swiveled in the pilot chair, boots on the console, wearing nothing but a flight harness, tighty whities and smug confidence. \u201cLet\u2019s hear him rant first. Then maybe jazz. Then self-destruct if I get bored.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But before the screen flickered on, Julian leaned back and smirked\u2014thinking about how this whole mess started just two days ago and wondering if Kessara would still take his call\u2026<\/p>\n<h3 class=\"header-anchor-post\">Just Sign Here<\/h3>\n<p>Diplomatic Assembly of Neutral Systems (D.A.N.S.) \u2013<\/p>\n<p>Main Landing Bay<\/p>\n<p>Julian strolled down the ramp of his ship, cargo manifest in hand, smirk firmly in place. Behind him, thirty sealed crates hummed faintly\u2014because high-grade explosives are dramatic like that.<\/p>\n<p>The spaceport included six enormous cargo doors each flanked by a human-sized door witha kiosk and a person, or something similar to a person. The humanoid functionary that caught Julian's attention was waiting at one of six checkpoints. She was a tall woman with a clipboard and too much lip gloss for a neutral system. On the kiosk a glowing sign read D.A.N.S.<\/p>\n<p>Julian: Hey! That matches the manifest. This is our door!<\/p>\n<p>Functionary: \u201cName and cargo designation?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian (grinning): \u201cFog. Julian Fog. Cargo: D.A.N.S. special delivery. Fragile, flammable, and fun at parties.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Functionary: \u201cOh! That must be the ceremonial pyrotechnics for the unity parade.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>(She barely glanced at the manifest before nodding.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re actually early. That\u2019s rare for freelance types.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian: \u201cI pride myself on punctuality. And humility. And jaw structure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Functionary: \u201cI noticed. I\u2019m Kessara, logistics coordinator and I'm really into fireworks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>(She leaned a little closer. Julian, instinctively, flexed just a bit.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTell me, Captain Fog\u2026 are you the kind of man who lights fuses, or the kind who watches them burn?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian: \u201cDepends. Are we talking fireworks or relationships?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kessara (laughing): \u201cBoth, ideally.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She scribbled something on a requisition tag and slid it into his pocket.<\/p>\n<p>Kessara: \u201cIf you\u2019re still in-system tonight, there\u2019s a diplomatic mixer. Free drinks. Flexible dress code. And I do love a man who smells like jet fuel and bad decisions.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian: \u201cYou had me at \u2018free drinks.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kessara: \u201cI\u2019ll have these wheeled into the ceremonial hall. Thanks again, Captain Fog. See you tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian (winking): \u201cLucky you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Back aboard the ship, as he fired up the engines, M.O.L.L.I.E.\u2019s voice cut in.<\/p>\n<p>M.O.L.L.I.E.: \u201cJulian\u2026 did you even check the delivery codes?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian (kicking up his feet, flight suit hung on a hook to his right): \u201cShe was tall, diplomatic, and interested. What else do you need in life?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>M.O.L.L.I.E.: \u201cA functional understanding of supply chain logistics and common sense. Also, pants.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian: \u201cYou\u2019re just jealous because you can\u2019t flirt.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>M.O.L.L.I.E.: \u201cI can flirt. I just choose to maintain standards.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Cut back to present.<\/p>\n<p>The screen flickered to reveal a face so scarred it looked like someone had tried to make origami out of beef jerky.<\/p>\n<p>It was Larkon the Unflayed, warlord, arms dealer, and collector of human teeth.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFOG!\u201d Larkon snarled. \u201cYou delivered thirty crates of high-grade explosives to the Diplomatic Assembly of Neutral Systems!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian sipped from his bulb. \u201cYeah, well. In my defense, the address said \u2018D.A.N.S.\u2019 I thought it stood for \u2018Dynamite and Nitro Shipment.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Larkon\u2019s eyes bulged. \u201cIt said Dantes, you illiterate bufoon! You have 12 cycles to repay the debt. Or I\u2019ll scatter your molecules across three systems.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWow. You say that like it\u2019s a bad thing,\u201d Julian said, before casually pressing the mute button.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMollie, add Larkon to my holiday card list. Right under \u2018Definitely Gonna Kill Me Someday.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAdded,\u201d M.O.L.L.I.E. responded. \u201cShall I include a coupon for free dental work?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>From the corridor, a mechanical voice cried out:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBONZAI!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Z1N, the operations robot who believed himself to be a samurai, stumbled in, carrying a live plasma grenade.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI found this egg of fire on the galley floor, Captain! Shall I incubate it in the furnace of destiny?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian shot up. \u201cZin, that\u2019s not an egg. That\u2019s a\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The grenade beeped.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFRAZZING FRAZ!\u201d Julian grabbed it, tossed it out the airlock, and slapped the seal shut just in time. The hull shook.<\/p>\n<p>Zin bowed. \u201cA noble victory, Captain. I shall compose a haiku in its honor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo. Please don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFlaming sphere of death\u2014<\/p>\n<p>Winds whisper kaboom softly\u2014<\/p>\n<p>I lose another hand.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian stared. \u201c\u2026How many hands have you lost?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThree. But they return. Like honor.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>M.O.L.L.I.E. chimed in again, voice dry and unimpressed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cReminder: you have twelve cycles to repay Larkon. I suggest a miracle or a rich uncle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian cracked his neck, grinned, and punched in a new nav route. \u201cTime to do what I do best.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGet shot at?\u201d Mollie offered.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo. Smuggle shady cargo under fire while telling jokes no one laughs at.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI stand corrected. You are a man of many talents.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Julian winked. \u201cSet course for Blackhole Market. And prep the espresso bulb. We\u2019re gonna need it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBONZAI!\u201d Zin cried again, sprinting into the weapons bay.<\/p>\n<p>Julian muttered, \u201cThis is either the beginning of a comeback\u2026 or the last twelve episodes of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"header-anchor-post\">Coming Next: Episode Two \u2013 \u201cWormhole Roulette\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>Julian bets it all on a shortcut through an unstable wormhole.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\tclass=\"so-widget-sow-blog so-widget-sow-blog-grid-c34ffc02d075\"\n\t\t\t\n\t\t>\t\t<div\n\t\tclass=\"sow-blog 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id=\"post-238\" class=\"post-238 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-essays category-philosophy\" style=\"margin: 0 0 30px;\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-blog-content-wrapper\"\n\t\t style=\"padding: 20px 25px;\">\n\t\t\t\t<header class=\"sow-entry-header\">\n\t\t\t<h4 class=\"sow-entry-title\" style=\"margin: 0 0 5px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/?p=238\" rel=\"bookmark\">Managed Reality &#8211; Prophetic Warnings from 1999<\/a><\/h4>\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-entry-meta\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/header>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<article id=\"post-235\" class=\"post-235 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-essays category-fiction\" style=\"margin: 0 0 30px;\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-entry-thumbnail\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/?p=235\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<img width=\"720\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/bfe68255-12b7-4cc2-bb77-6d1233a6fa6e_1024x1536-720x480.webp\" class=\"attachment-sow-blog-grid size-sow-blog-grid wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/bfe68255-12b7-4cc2-bb77-6d1233a6fa6e_1024x1536-720x480.webp 720w, https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/bfe68255-12b7-4cc2-bb77-6d1233a6fa6e_1024x1536-272x182.webp 272w, https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/bfe68255-12b7-4cc2-bb77-6d1233a6fa6e_1024x1536-360x240.webp 360w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-blog-content-wrapper\"\n\t\t style=\"padding: 20px 25px;\">\n\t\t\t\t<header class=\"sow-entry-header\">\n\t\t\t<h4 class=\"sow-entry-title\" style=\"margin: 0 0 5px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/?p=235\" rel=\"bookmark\">Julian Fog Episode Seven &#8211; Ghosts, Guns, And The Iron Funeral<\/a><\/h4>\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-entry-meta\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/header>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<article id=\"post-231\" class=\"post-231 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-fiction category-uncategorized\" style=\"margin: 0 0 30px;\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-entry-thumbnail\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/?p=231\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<img width=\"720\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/92a91f79-8565-46c8-99ce-fbbb3feac5a6_1024x1536-720x480.jpg\" class=\"attachment-sow-blog-grid size-sow-blog-grid wp-post-image\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/92a91f79-8565-46c8-99ce-fbbb3feac5a6_1024x1536-720x480.jpg 720w, https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/92a91f79-8565-46c8-99ce-fbbb3feac5a6_1024x1536-272x182.jpg 272w, https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/92a91f79-8565-46c8-99ce-fbbb3feac5a6_1024x1536-360x240.jpg 360w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 720px) 100vw, 720px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-blog-content-wrapper\"\n\t\t style=\"padding: 20px 25px;\">\n\t\t\t\t<header class=\"sow-entry-header\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-entry-meta\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/header>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<article id=\"post-227\" class=\"post-227 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-essays category-philosophy\" style=\"margin: 0 0 30px;\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-blog-content-wrapper\"\n\t\t style=\"padding: 20px 25px;\">\n\t\t\t\t<header class=\"sow-entry-header\">\n\t\t\t<h4 class=\"sow-entry-title\" style=\"margin: 0 0 5px;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/?p=227\" rel=\"bookmark\">If I Were An Honorable Man<\/a><\/h4>\t\t\t<div class=\"sow-entry-meta\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/header>\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/article>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If I were an honorable man, I suppose I might say a few things I\u2019m apparently no longer qualified to say. I might say that grown adults shouldn\u2019t speak to one another like feral children playing dominance games on the schoolyard. I might say that public power, the kind held in trust, not seized for&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":139,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-essays","category-fiction"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=138"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":140,"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions\/140"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/139"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecynicalpatriot.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}